


Debut

by bitboozy



Series: Domesticated [10]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Romance, all the food groups, fluff and angst and smut oh my, ~ beach weddings ~
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 03:22:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20167324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy
Summary: “I know these people, Alec, I’ve grown up with them my whole life. They don’t trust anything until they can see it.”“Right, well,” he says, unconvinced. “Don’t think Jocelyn and Maggie are going to take too kindly to us making their day all about us.”





	1. Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Oddly quite happy with where this one is going. Hope you like it! There will be 3 chapters.

One Saturday morning a week after Ellie’s injury in the line of duty, they experience for the first time what life is to be like once they finally move in together. Daisy stays over the evening before, sleeping on the couch in what used to be the study, and soon to be her room. The evening is quite pleasant, they find. Fred is wildly enamored with Daisy, Tom and Alec play a little football in the field until it gets too dark. (Or, really, until Daisy, Ellie, and Fred decide to join them. That’s when they decide to pack it in.) Alec and Ellie put Fred to bed together, at his request, alternating reading him stories. Daisy and Tom play video games until 10pm, while their parents finish a bottle of wine in the kitchen. Ellie makes up the the couch in the study for Daisy, and they bond making fun of her dad. Once both teenagers are in bed, Alec and Ellie retire to her room, soon to be their room, to watch the latest episode of _Midsummer Murders_, during which they both fall asleep.

The morning is raucous. Immediately upon waking, Fred creeps into Daisy’s room, jumps on top of her, and scares the living daylights out of her. Tom comes running, followed by Ellie. Alec is still dead to the world. Breakfast is a wild frenzy, thanks to the healthy appetites of two growing teenagers, and to the four-year-old’s desperate need for attention at all times. Alec and Ellie barely have the chance to kiss each other good morning.

At 8:30am, Lucy arrives to pick up Tom and Fred. She’s to drop Daisy off back at what is still technically her home, and Tom is livid that Daisy is deemed old enough to spend the day on her own and he’s not. Once all the children are out the door and on their way, Alec and Ellie make a mad dash back to the bedroom. They crawl back into bed lazily, both still in their pyjamas. Ellie lies on her side, the one without the stitches still healing on her hip, and Alec snuggles up behind her, holding her tightly against him with one arm.

“That was utter chaos,” he mumbles into her hair.

“It’ll get easier,” she says with a yawn. “Once we get into a rhythm.”

He nods. “We should set an alarm.”

“Thought you’d be quite happy to sleep through the ceremony.” She smirks into her pillow.

“Wouldn’t be right,” he acknowledges. “We did RSVP.”

She appreciates his keen sense of morality and responsibility even in the face of the utter misery he feels at having to act upon them. She reaches for her mobile, and sets an alarm. 

“An hour of peace and quiet,” she says happily, setting the mobile aside and snuggling back into her pillow, and to him.

They drift off to sleep quite easily, as two people who never get enough sleep always will. Not thirty minutes later, she awakens to a few groans and a bit of writhing. She opens her eyes, blinking rapidly, and feels not only a hand on her breast but also a surprisingly hard cock pressing into her back.

“Alec,” she whispers, resisting the urge to jab him with her elbow.

He sleepily buries his face into her neck and holds her tighter. “Mm…” His hand squeezes her breast.

“_Alec._” She does jab him now. He smiles into her skin. “What on earth were you dreaming about?”

“Mmm…” He plants a kiss on her. “You.”

“Liar,” she scoffs. 

“”m not,” he insists, running a thumb over her nipple. “You barged into my office without knocking. And were stark naked under your coat.”

“Was I? _Naughty_.” She grinds her hips against him. “Sorry to wake you then.”

He slips a leg between hers. “_I’m _not.”

She turns her head, trying to look back at him, with a girlish giggle. “Haven’t got much time.”

“We’ll make the most of it.” He kisses her cheek, then moves to her earlobe and gives it a nip. “Ought to get it out of our systems now. Or else I’ll be tempted to drag you into the coat room at the reception.”

She laughs, tangling her legs with his. “What makes you think if we do it now we won’t want to later?”

“Mm, good point.” His tongue is in her ear now, and she reaches back to grab a fistful of his hair.

His hand begins to move downward from her breast, lightly trailing over the stitches in her hip. He parts her legs with his knee and slips his hand under the waistband of her pyjama pants, then her knickers.

After a sharp intake of breath, she says, “Is this what you were doing to me in your dream?”

“Oh, Ellie Miller,” he growls into her ear. “The things I was doin’ to you…”

He doesn’t waste any time, knowing it’s limited, and quickly his fingers are rubbing at her clit, finding a familiar rhythm. She gasps for breath, and her hand in his hair is pulling at it hard, causing him to bite at her neck. He slips a finger inside her, his hardness rubbing against her back at the same time.

“Fuck, I love you,” she exhales, probably unconsciously.

Ellie has never really had this before. Her sex life with Joe was quite decent, and she’d always been happy with it, but the truth is, she hadn’t known what she was missing. They made love regularly and left each other satisfied, but it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t earth-shattering, desperate, and electrifying, and yet still so comfortable and easy. They weren’t stealing away together any moment they possibly could, unable to keep their hands off each other. And maybe, she reasons, this will all fade. She and Alec are in a kind of honeymoon phase, and one day she’ll wake up and their sex life will be merely quite decent. 

But she doubts it.

“Lie back,” he whispers in her ear before nipping at it again.

Her thoughts are barely coherent enough to hear him properly, but she manages to turn onto her back, spreading her legs further and allowing his fingers to thrust inside her at a deeper angle. His gaze on her is searing, and he leans down to kiss her.

“Want to see you,” he says. “Want to watch you.”

In the past, this kind of scrutiny in such an intimate, deeply vulnerable moment would have made her self-conscious and distracted, but it’s _him _and the way he’s looking at her might be the sexiest thing she’s ever seen, his hair falling over his eyes, concentrating very seriously on nothing else but making her come.

She reaches up and grabs onto the nape of his neck, pulling him down again to kiss him deeply, as intensely as she can while he’s driving her to the edge. She hears herself whimpering into his mouth as he speeds up his ministrations and he pulls away from her lips just enough to watch her face.

“_Fuck_, Alec,” she cries, and he thumbs her clit harder. “Oh, god.”

She reaches to hold onto him, digging her nails into his back. He moans at that. She’s so close she could scream, and she’s so used to having to be quiet that she’s holding her breath. 

“It’s okay,” he whispers, kissing her. “Come on, love. Let go.”

It seems like such a corny thing to say, but it’s exactly what she needs to hear. She’s a mother of two with a wildly stressful job who has had an utterly grueling last two years of her life. Thanks to her new relationship with Alec, she’s had regular stress relief and more orgasms than she can even begin to count, but to let herself go – fully – unafraid of being heard, or judged, or quieted…that’s something else entirely.

She does let go, crying out, shattering beneath his besotted gaze. She won’t remember later just how loud she is because she’s utterly beside herself, for once not thinking about it and not holding back. 

Once he’s sure she’s completely spent, he kisses her and she grabs onto the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss, riding out the aftershocks. He extricates his hand and pulls her close, unable to conceal the smile on his face. 

“Well, that was a thing of beauty,” he remarks.

She closes her eyes, catching her breath. When she opens them again, he’s staring at her breasts as her chest rises and falls. Realizing he’s been caught, he looks at her with a boyish grin.

“May I?”

She laughs, and he takes that as a yes. He takes one of her breasts into his mouth, kneading the other with his hand.

“Must let me take care of _you _now,” she insists, though she’d be content to simply lie there and let him keep doing what he’s doing. “But I’m afraid I’d best be getting in the shower about now.” He sucks on her nipple as if she hasn’t said a thing. She lowers her voice. “Care to join me?”

He looks up at that, and there’s that boyish grin back. She jumps out of bed and he follows her into the bathroom happily.

*

An hour later, they’re both dressed and blow-dried. He sits on the edge of the bed in his nice navy suit and puts on his shoes. She stands in front of the mirror applying her makeup. He watches her put on her lipstick, as he often does, accidentally tying his shoes too tight. 

“You buy that just for this?” He inquires, referring to her dress.

It’s a coral-colored, knee-length, sleeveless cotton dress with a tantalizing but respectable v-neck.

“Yeah.” She shrugs. “Thought the occasion warranted it.”

A mobile vibrates near the bed.

“Sounds like mine, will you take a look for me?” She asks, applying her mascara.

He grabs it. “Beth. ‘Bringing a bloke from work as my plus-one. He’s perfect for you. My treat.’ And there’s a winking face.”

He looks up at her, both eyebrows raised, and she winces sheepishly back at him through the mirror.

“Two months and you’ve not told her,” Alec complains.

“I know, I _know_.” The guilt pinches at her all over. “To be fair I’ve not exactly seen her much. Been a bit busy.”

“And she’s not asked _why_?” 

“She _has_, but it’s…you know.”

He’s turned grumpy. “I do not.”

“One thing at a time, and it’s…always another thing. The kids, Lucy, Dad, work…now that _they _all know…”

“Don’t think Beth’ll take kindly to being the last. ‘Specially since she’s apparently wasting her plus-one on you.”

She turns around now to look at him, having finished with her face. “It occurs to me that it might be better for her to _see _us together, instead of just hearing about it, she can see…how it works. How natural it actually is,” she explains. “I think that might be true for a lot of people. I think this day is an opportunity to for us to…come out, quietly.”

He nearly laughs. “You think springin’ it on people with no warning is us comin’ out quietly?”

She moves to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. “I _know _these people, Alec, I’ve grown up with them my whole life. They don’t trust anything until they can see it.”

“Right, well,” he says, unconvinced. “Don’t think Jocelyn and Maggie are going to take too kindly to us making their day all about _us_.” 

“We’re not!”

“El. I love you.” He presses his lips briefly to hers. “But you’re wildly fucking deluded about what we’re about to get ourselves into.”

*


	2. Afternoon

He drives on the way there. (He likes to drive when it’s just them, as themselves. She’s a better driver under pressure so she drives when they’re working. It works out well.) Neither says much, and he can tell she’s second-guessing all her personal theories about how today would go.

When they arrive at the beach, he’s tempted to hold out his arm to her, but she’s immediately inundated by friends and neighbors – hugs, cheek kisses, warm shoulder pats. He’s quickly left in the dust, but he doesn’t mind a bit. He exchanges a nod or two with the odd person, but he finds that he quite enjoys watching her in her element like this. Social butterfly Ellie, Ellie who actually likes people. He realizes how selfish he’s been, hogging her all to himself these last two months. She thrives on human interaction, and the color in her cheeks looks good on her.

The ceremony is a quiet one. Maggie and Jocelyn aren’t quite sure they believe in marriage, but they do know they believe in each other, and in committing themselves to each other. They’d have done it just the two of them, but they also both believe in _evidence _so it seems the thing to make a bit of a do out of it. Plus they like a party more than they let on. Well, Maggie does.

Alec sits beside Ellie in the third row, and no one thinks anything of it, just as no one thought anything of them arriving together. It’s well-known around these parts that she is his only friend, though he has certainly gained the respect of the town’s denizens by this point. During the vows, Ellie’s eyes are wet with tears. He surreptitiously reaches for her hand and squeezes it, doesn’t let it go until the ceremony comes to a close. Jocelyn and Maggie retreat back down the aisle, stumbling down the beach, and everyone stands and claps. Ellie is still wiping away tears, and he can’t keep himself from leaning over and pressing a kiss to her jawline, tasting the salt on her wet cheeks. 

Behind them are Becca and Paul. Though Paul has left Broadchurch permanently, he and Becca have remained quite friendly, and this occasion seems as good a reason as ever to come visit. They both clock Alec’s affectionate peck at the same time, and exchange knowing glances with widened eyes. 

The two are separated in the walk to the beach up to Jocelyn’s home, where the reception is to take place. Ellie is approached by one of Fred’s teachers, the one she went on an ill-fated date with the night before she and Alec finally admitted their feelings. Alec is joined by Chloe, confessing her disappointment that Daisy was left at home.

He finds Ellie again at the house. He has picked up a flute of champagne for himself, and one for her. She takes it without a word, and downs half of it in one gulp. Nigel approaches them both, a mischievous look on his face, and Ellie turns and disappears before Alec has a chance to stop her.

After ten minutes of listening to Nige talk about hunting and game, Alec bruskly excuses himself to go look for Ellie. Though of course that’s not what he says. He winds his way through the crowd, looking for her brightly colored dress and listening for the sound of her laughter, and eventually finds himself in the quiet upstairs of the house. He waits for a minute outside the closed bathroom door, then knocks on it.

“Just a minute!” Found her.

“Ellie, it’s me,” he says, quiet enough so as not to be overheard downstairs.

The door opens a crack from inside, and he cautiously steps into the room, closing the door behind him quickly. He finds her sitting on the edge of the bathtub, blotting at tear-stained cheeks with a tissue. He’s instantly upset by the sight of her and goes into protective mode.

“What happened? Did someone say something to you?” He asks, ready to go after whoever it is. “Beth? Did she react badly?”

“No, no,” she answers, shaking her head. “It’s, uh.” She takes a deep breath. “First wedding I’ve been to since…everything happened with Joe.” She doesn’t look at him when she says it.

“Oh.” He’s not sure he should physically comfort her when she’s in tears over her ex-husband, so he leans back against the sink and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“I’ll be fine,” she says, pressing the tissue to her nose.

“I know you will.” He never doubts that.

She stands and goes to the mirror, pulling her compact out of her handbag. He remains where he is, watching her fix and reapply her makeup. He’s amazed by the _strength _of her in this moment. Not for the first time, he sees her working through her sorrow internally, as quickly as she can, in order to put a smile back on her face. These last two months have been so blissful that he forgets just how much pain lives inside that tiny body of hers.

He stands beside her against the sink, his back to the mirror, and watches her apply her lipstick. As always. He leans over and kisses her bare shoulder. He wants to tell her how incredible she is, but he knows he will either get swatted in the arm or she’ll start crying again. 

“All right,” she says, exhaling, then turns to him. “How do I look? Little better than a swamp witch?" 

He looks at her earnestly. “I love you. Very much.”

“Oh.” It’s an involuntary response, but then she smiles. “Better than a swamp witch then.”

He concedes. “Aye, better than a swamp witch.”

“Well.” She smooths out her dress. “That’s about all I can hope for at this point. Shall we?”

“Reckon you ought to go first,” he says reasonably. “People might get ideas if they see us leave the loo together.”

“Right. See you out there, then.”

He watches her go and closes the door behind her. It’s his turn to look in the mirror now, something he should probably do more. He did trim his beard a bit this morning, but he could use a haircut. He smooths out his tie, then exits after deciding he’s waited a respectable amount of time.

Alec wanders the house for a few minutes, and finally happens upon the house bar, and Jocelyn’s good scotch. He pours himself two fingers’ worth, and knows instinctively that Jocelyn will not mind. Not an especially social person herself, there was a part of him that sensed a kindred spirit when he first met her. Champagne is simply too _bubbly _for him, in more ways than one.

He takes a sip from his glass and revels in it for a moment. When he turns around, he bumps right into Beth.

“Hardy,” she says simply. She’s had more than a glass of champagne, he deduces. Not that he begrudges her it. 

“Beth, good to see you.” 

“Fancy seeing you here, didn’t have you down as one for these sorts of dos.” She’s studying him. He knows what that looks like.

“Figured if Maggie and Jocelyn saw fit to invite me the least I could was show up,” he replies evenly.

Beth nods, unconvinced. “Just assumed you were Ellie’s designated driver when I saw you two pull up together.”

He shrugs, taking a sip of scotch. “Been called worse.”

Mercifully, Beth is beckoned elsewhere at that moment and she scurries out without another word to him, only a polite half-smile.

Suddenly he feels like he’s in a strange limbo. Their relationship is not a secret, but it’s not in the open either. They’ve become so used to concealing it that it’s become natural for them to quell their instinctive affection for each other in public, even though they hadn’t planned to today.

He continues to wind through the crowd. There’s Olly – he knows. In the next room, Brian – he knows too. And Jenkinson’s around somewhere. So what does it matter?

Making his way out into the backyard, he hears Ellie’s laughter, and is grateful for the sound. He follows it until he sees her, standing with the couple of the hour, positively beaming at them. In a move of surprising boldness, he comes up behind her and takes her hand. She turns to him, only a little surprised, and is now beaming at _him_.

He doesn’t see the look of utter shock on Maggie’s face at first, or the knowing smile that’s playing on Jocelyn’s lips. He lifts their hands to his lips and kisses the back of Ellie’s. Maggie could fall right over, and reaches for Jocelyn to steady her. But all he sees is Ellie beaming at him.

“What did I miss?” He asks the group, as if he’s a perfectly normal social creature who just stepped out to go to the loo.

“Bout time,” Jocelyn purrs, taking a sip of champagne.

By now, people have started to gather. Alec can _feel_ them before he can see them. He sees Olly appear out of the corner of his eye, obviously smirking. Becca and Paul appear a few feet from Ellie. Nige is lurking nearby. He can feel Jenkinson’s gaze hot upon him though he hasn’t spotted her. Sam the bartender, who is Maggie’s nephew. Fred’s teacher. Alec feels a little like they’re about to be subjected to a flash mob. He looks at Ellie, and he can see she’s starting to waver a little, to wither a bit under the scrutiny. He squeezes her hand tighter.

The second he sees Beth in the corner, he knows what he has to do. He looks at Maggie and Jocelyn.

“Forgive me.”

Then he pulls Ellie to him, one arm tight around her waist, the other still holding her hand tightly. When he kisses her, it’s a bit wild and hard at first, because he has something to prove. It evolves into something slow and languid then, and he decides to take his time, just as if they were alone. If this is how they’re going to break the news to the entire town, he may as well leave them all with zero doubts in their minds of how he feels about her. He’ll not be taking any questions at this time. 

When at last they part, she is _fully _breathless and not just a little bit astonished.

“Well that’s that done,” he whispers in her ear.

She shakes her head at him in disbelief, but she’s grinning. 

The air is still for a moment, until Maggie speaks up. “All right then, carry on, there’s loads more bubbly where this comes from!”

When it’s clear that everyone is reluctant to disperse, Jocelyn adds, “What’s this, you’ve never seen two detectives snog the living daylights out of each other?! Get off with you.”

Ellie, suddenly shy, turns to hide her face in Alec’s shoulder, still holding tightly to his hand. He kisses her hair, and people reluctantly begin to float away, but the buzz in the house stays at a steady volume.

Alec looks at Maggie and Jocelyn a bit guiltily, though with Ellie clinging to him the way she is it’s hard to feel guilty about much of anything.

“Sorry bout that,” he says finally. “Felt it was time to put things to rest.”

Maggie and Jocelyn exchange glances.

“This is why I don’t get invited to parties,” he adds.

Jocelyn laughs out loud at this. “This is _not _why!”

“Right, fair enough.” He looks down at Ellie. “All right, love?”

Maggie and Jocelyn exchange glances again.

Ellie nods against his shoulder. 

“You two are lucky we understand your position,” Maggie says. “We’ve been right where you are. And it tore us apart.”

Jocelyn’s expression is somewhat imperceptible. “Don’t let it do the same to you.” She puts a hand on the small of Maggie’s back. “There’s nothing in the world worse than wasted time.”

With that, they turn and head back inside to attend to the rest of their guests.

Ellie looks up at Alec and he kisses her forehead. “Sorry,” he says quietly. “This whole…living in-between bollocks just got to me, and I could see it gettin’ to _you_, and I…couldn’t stand that, frankly."

She wraps her free arm around his waist and lays her head against his chest now.

“God’s sake, _say _somethin’, will you.”

“Thank you,” she whispers. “Guess I’m more of a bloody coward than I thought I was.”

“No,” he replies, holding her, even knowing they’re in the middle of Jocelyn’s backyard can’t keep him from it. “The stakes are higher for you. It’s easier for me to say, ‘all right then, people I hardly know, I’m in love with this beautiful, brilliant woman that you all adore’ than for you to say ‘uh, sorry to say, people I’ve known my whole life, unfortunately I’m in love with this grumpy, sad sod who drives you all mad.’ I’m aware of that.”

She laughs a little at that, wiping away a tear she didn’t realize had begun to travel down her cheek. “I sure know how to pick ‘em, don’t I?”

He laughs too, though he feels a little pity for her. She deserves better than to have spent a lifetime in love with a profoundly ill man who betrayed her on the deepest level, and a impossibly difficult, brooding Scot with a half-broken heart. He knows she’s been thinking about her husband today, and that she has gotten way more than she bargained for emotionally when she RSVP’d to this event. She tries so hard to be happy and strong for those around her, to not selfishly let her emotions get the better of her, and all he wants is make that easier for her to do. He realizes now, probably for the first time, that all he can do is be there. However she needs to to be. The best he can do is study her and learn the moments when she needs him to make her laugh versus the ones where she needs him to hold her versus the ones where she needs him to just sit there and wait.

She’s helped him lift the weight on his heart. But he can’t do the same. There’s no way to ever fully resolve the torment within her.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

She shakes her head, and he follows her gaze. Beth.

“Right.” He kisses her temple. “I’ll just be inside.”

*


	3. Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, I am so sorry, y'all.

Beth and Ellie sit side by side on lawn chairs, as far as they can get from the crowd. For a moment, neither of them speaks, unsure how to begin.

Ellie wrings her hands a bit. “Spose I should start with I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. ‘Spose you should do.”

“I think…” She sighs. “If I’m being honest, Beth, these last two months – “

“_Two months_?”

Ellie looks at her apologetically, then continues. “These last two months I’ve been so happy and I was…I guess I was avoiding anything that might’ve gotten in the way of that.”

Beth is unmoved. “You were afraid I’d spoil it all.”

“Maybe a little,” Ellie admits. “Just wanted to keep on feeling the way I was feeling. I didn’t stop and think much. And I’m sorry about that.”

Beth is quiet. She doesn’t look at her friend.

“Quite serious, it seems,” Beth says, finally.

“Yeah.” Ellie nods. “He and Daisy are moving in soon actually.”

Beth looks at her, eyes wide. Ellie sighs. “I’m _sorry_, Beth. Swear I am.”

“What were you afraid of?” Beth asks, and Ellie is surprised by her earnestness.

“I…well. You can be a bit – and this is not a criticism – but you can draw a bit of a hard line sometimes. I s’pose I was afraid it would become a ‘you or him’ situation.”

“Ah, bugger off, I’m not that bad.”

Ellie gives her a crooked smile.

“I’m that bad?!”

“You have very strong opinions,” Ellie says, and laughs softly.

Beth smiles. “That I do, I s’pose.”

“Think I also just needed time with Alec to be sure of what it is we were doing. We’ve been careful, we’ve really been taking time to do things right and proper. Do right by the kids, do right by work, and…you know, we’ve both been burned. Alec and me. I know it _sounds _like we’re rushing into things, but….”

“I know you’re not,” Beth replies, to Ellie’s surprise. “What? El, I’m not bloody _blind_. There’s been somethin’ between you two for a while now. I just had no idea that you had any plans to act on it.”

“_I _had no idea.”

Beth nods. “Reckon we have a lot to catch up on. But not here.”

Ellie smiles. “Reckon a night at the pub is in our future.”

Beth looks at her now. “He’s good to you though? I mean, he’s kind to you.”

“When I want him to be.” Ellie raises her eyebrows, and they both burst out laughing.

“We _do _have a lot to catch up on then.”

Ellie ventures out a hand and lays it upon Beth’s. 

Beth’s plus-one from work pops his head out the back door. “Beth?”

She sighs to herself and looks at Ellie. “Guess I’m stuck with him now.”

“Thought you liked him!”

“Yeah, for _you_.”

“Oh, right, ta.” Ellie rolls her eyes.

*

As the afternoon turns into evening, Ellie finds Alec sitting across from Paul Coates in the study. They’ve _both _gotten into the good scotch. She’s spent the last hour fielding questions about their relationship from anyone and everyone, while he’s been hiding in here with the pastor. She was beginning to feel like her friends are paparazzi and as a result she’s had a drink or two more than she planned to.

“How did it happen, El?”

“How long’s it been goin’ on?”

“What d’ya see in him?”

“You lot allowed to be doin’ that what with your jobs and all?”

“What about the boys? The man who arrested their father, really?”

“Didn’t think he’d be stickin’ around so long.”

“Isn’t there anyone else in town you could date?”

“He a good shag at least?”

She’s exhausted and tipsy by the time Becca Fisher pulls her aside.

“He all right, you know…with all this?” Becca gestures to her chest, nowhere near the actual location of the heart.

“He’s fine,” Ellie replies tersely.

“You know,” Becca giggles. “He propostioned me once.”

Ellie is stone-faced. “I know.”

“I turned him down.”

“I know, Becca.”

“So…” The blonde leans in with a cunning grin. “Did I miss out on much?”

“No, not much,” Ellie answers nonchalantly. “Two, three orgasms a night, max.”

Becca’s eyes grow wide.

“And of course…” Ellie gestures with her hands to indicate his _size._

Becca’s mouth pops open.

Ellie shrugs and takes a sip of her champagne. “Nothing to write home about.”

With that, she walks away, leaving Becca standing there in shock.

So when she finds Alec and Paul in the study, she’s feeling pretty pleased with herself. Alec’s sitting with his back to her, and she comes up behind him, leaning forward and draping her arms over his shoulders.

“All right, boys?”

“All right, Ellie,” Paul says back, raising his glass in her direction.

She kisses Alec’s cheek. “Pleased to see you being so sociable.”

“Not sociable,” he grunts. “’s just Paul. And his twisted ideas about religion.”

Paul smiles and shrugs. Ellie sits on the edge of Alec’s chair. He slides his arm around her and rests his hand against her thigh. She’s smiling a bit dreamily, and he can tell exactly how many she’s had, and what – three glasses of champagne, one vodka. 

“Certainly seems things are going well between you two,” Paul comments, crossing his legs and leaning back in his seat.

“How could you tell?” Ellie asks with a roll of her eyes. “From the way he snogs me mercilessly in the middle of a crowded room, or the way he can’t keep his hands off me?”

Neither Paul nor Alec is sure if she’s being facetious or critical.

“Well. I can’t say I’m _too _surprised,” the pastor tells them. “Always had a feeling, me.”

Alec scratches his head. He doesn’t know what to say about that.

“More than likely _you _figured it out before we did,” Ellie says.

“You know what they say about love.”

Alec frowns. “What?”

“…It’s blind.” Paul blinks. 

“Right.”

Ellie crosses one leg over the other, and suddenly Alec is unclear on whether she’s trying to entice him or the pastor.

“About ready to shove off, then?” He asks her eagerly.

“’Spose we’ve done enough damage by now,” she replies.

Alec pats her bottom, then stands up. “I’ll make our excuses then.”

She just smiles at him a little tightly in response. He holds a hand out to the pastor. “Good seein’ you, Paul.”

He takes it. “And you.”

Alec exits, looking over his shoulder at Ellie, who doesn’t follow him.

Once he’s out of earshot, Ellie moves down into the seat of the chair, then leans forward toward Paul.

“Do you think it’s all right?” She asks, quietly “Me and him.”

“All right how?” Paul asks, leaning in to meet her, considering her words.

“The way we met. What we’ve been through. How we…work together. All that’s happened,” she replies. “Is it totally daft?" 

Paul clasps his hands together. “Are you happy? Does he respect you? Do you feel loved?”

Ellie takes a second to think through each question and answers fairly quickly, “Yes.” 

“Seems all right to me,” Paul says with a casual shrug. Then he studies her for a moment. “Ellie. He’s not Joe.”

“I know that,” she replies aggressively, looking anywhere else. “But I’m still me.”

Paul shakes his head. “I dunno what that means, El.”

Ellie looks down at her feet, biting her lip, trying to fight back tears. “I loved him. Joe. Loved him every day for thirteen years. Made love to him. Had two children with him. _Then _I felt loved, felt respected, was happy.” She looks at him, finally. “How can I ever trust myself again?”

*

On the car ride home, Alec reaches for her, but finds her cold.

For him, the day was a success. He has no idea _what _she feels. For once, she won’t tell him. 

He finds himself chattering a bit on the way home, perhaps unconsciously making up for her silence.

After a short time, he pulls up outside her house. It’s just gone dark now. They both slam their respective car doors and when they come together in the driveway, she stops, and can’t meet his eyes.

“Ah,” she stammers, her left hand grabbing onto her right arm for comfort. “I think I’d better – would it be all right if – “ She sighs, rubbing her temple. “Think it’s best if I’m on my own tonight.”

The words hit him like he’s had a baby grand dropped on his chest.

In the interest of self-preservation, he pretends to recover quickly. “All right, yeah,” he says. “Been a long day.”

He touches her arm, and kisses her cheek. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” she says, limply.

In their two months togerther she’s never once said _I’ll call you tomorrow_. She’s never had to.

“Right, then,” he replies. “Night." 

She turns and heads toward her door. “Night, then.”

And suddenly, it’s like they’ve only just met.

***


End file.
